By Joseph Walter
The review in question was of a Season 2 Power Rangers episode called "Zedd's Monster Mash." The episode was typical, mediocre Season 2 faire, but there was one aspect that continued to puzzle me since its original airing.
That mystery being who and what the hell is this thing, and what in God's name does this headstone say:
But first, a little history: Power Rangers, as some of you may know, isn't an entirely American show. Fight scenes and costumed footage are taken from a long-running Japanese series with the blanket title "Super Sentai" and then re-dubbed into English and spliced in between footage of American actors to make a brand new show.
The second season of Power Rangers borrowed most of its footage from "Gosei Sentai Dairanger," which was recently released to the American public on DVD with English subtitles. I was good enough this year for Santa to bring it to me on Christmas, so I've been delving deep into its wacky antics.
The two shows have almost nothing in common aside from the shared footage, especially in their personification of the White Ranger. Instead of fan-favorite, camera-mugging spotlight-stealer Tommy, the equivalent Kiba Ranger is a 9 year-old pervert who has a penchant for looking up skirts and touching the Pink Ranger's breasts.
This gravestone's true name is "President Gravestone," and he is a member of "The Three Stooges," a trio of monsters who are too weird to even fight properly. Inside his tombstone head, there is a video-telephone and a fortune-telling machine.
In the episode this trio featured in, they kidnapped the Japanese Red Ranger's sister, and forced the team into a game of deadly soccer to decide her fate. Naturally, the Dairangers won and the "Three Stooges" got the tar beaten out of them.
At the end, they marched into the sunset, cursing it and tripping over themselves.
I still have no idea what the gravestone says.
..... And this didn't even happen:
Only time will tell if the most prominent of my burning questions will be answered... but I won't hold my breath.