Overview: "April - 1805. Napoleon is master of Europe. Only the British Fleet stands before him. Oceans are now battlefields."

The Good: An immersive film that puts viewers right onto the deck of the HMS Surprise as it hunts the powerful French ship, the Acheron. Visceral action, living & fully-realized characters with outstanding character moments (all thanks to excellent writing and acting), classical music, gorgeous cinematography, an impressive sense of scale, an especially immersive atmosphere, and a story that manages to be both thrilling and intimate at the same time.  Cinema at its finest.

The Bad: It's long, and some might find it slow. It's also densely written and can be a little overwhelming... but that's about it. There are also a few genuinely haunting and heartbreaking sequences, so if you're not in the mood to get depressed, this might not be the choice viewing choice. 

---
"Annihilation" by Jeff VanderMeer

Overview: A team is charged with entering the mysterious "Area X" (a stretch of land enveloped by a phenomenon of unknown origin) to record their findings and report back to their superiors.

The Good: This book actually made me think I was insane. Other than that, I don't want to risk giving anything away, so all I'll say is that it's a gripping, easy-to-read book that defies writing conventions, and tells a story that is simultaneously awe-inspiring and dread-inducing. 

The Bad: This book actually made me think I was insane. But that's also kind of good a thing, so never mind. Also, skip the movie. It not only doesn't do the source material justice, it completely misses what makes the book so engrossing and memorable in the first place.
​
---

I have a reputation for loving unforgivingly difficult and often obtuse RPGs.

I adore the first Dragon Warrior, and the thrill of wondering if each battle during a lengthy grind will be my last, wasting much of what I had hoped to achieve in the process. I also love the directly menacing Dark Spire on the DS, a game that seems like it was designed to be as oppressive and personally threatening as possible. 

With that in mind, you would think that the notorious Ultima Exodus for Old Nintendo (my personal name for the NES) would be ranked rather highly on my list...
​
It is not. 

Needlessly difficult and tedious with little reward, Exodus is the definition of a slog. While it's certainly impressive a relatively accurate NES port of a PC game exists, that doesn't make it worth playing.

It's not all doom and gloom, though: the game's soundtrack is delightfully dream-like and catchy, and I really, really need to tell you about its outstanding and jaw-droppingly dynamic "Main Menu" theme!

Unsure of what to expect when turning the game on, I initially found myself disappointed by the rather giddy tune that greeted me. Again, I didn't know what to expect, but I knew it wasn't this (especially considering my memories of the incredible title screens/themes of Ultima III from my youth).

Getting over the relative disappointment, I set about creating my party of characters... but as time  (and the song) went on... I lost it. 

To explain what happened best, here's a play-by-play of the emotional roller coaster I experienced during this initial listen:

:00 - "Okay, I didn't expect this to be so jaunty."

:14 - "Huh, this is kind of cute."

:35 - "... why am I starting to feel something?"

:55 - "I... what..?"

1:00 - "...how long have I been crying?"

1:15 - *hhnggghhhh* (my non-verbal reaction to the unnecessarily epic harmonies.)

1:29 - "Oh God. What's happening."

By the time the song looped, I was emotionally flabbergasted. It was like a walked through an ancient doorway into another world, one that was constructed of nothing but dreamlike nostalgia. 

This reaction was only bolstered when I actually started the game and listened to the full Castle theme, which was another piece that had far more emotion, impact and scope than one might think. 

While the superior qualities of the above compositions are impressive in their own right, the unexpected complexity is equally exciting. It's just not that common of a trait with the majority of Old Nintendo soundtracks.... though Exodus' score isn't the most impressive on the system, not by a long shot (and don't worry, I WILL be covering what is the most impressive soundtrack on the system soon enough.)
  
Anyway, I'm apparently not the only one who thinks that "Main Menu" is surprisingly excellent, because there's actually a poppy, Japanese vocal version of the theme.

You're welcome.  

We've spoken about the surreal oddity that is Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon before (specifically the wacky, yet incredible, musical numbers) but the weirdness doesn't end there. In fact, its "ending," in the form of a Game Over, is arguably the weirdest part of the entire game. 

Just as a refresher, Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon is a fantastic 3D platformer for the N64 that resembles a more straightforward and action-packed Ocarina of Time. Taking place in ancient Japan, players command a party of four characters as they attempt to save their country from a hostile, interstellar theatre troupe. Also, there are elaborate giant robot battles. None of this is a lie.

The gameplay is tight, the cutscenes are genuinely hilarious (with a laugh track that pops in at the strangest of times) and the game is deliciously bizarre (have I mentioned that the giant robot sings its own theme song?)

Oddly enough, the game's weirdest moment comes during its Game Over screen which is... uh.. well, I can't really explain it. It's best if you see it for yourself:

Yeah, so... well, um.. right. So yeah, I wasn't really sure what to make of this as a kid, and I'm not sure what to make of it now. It's just... exceedingly weird, and probably the most abnormal Game Over I can think of.

.... why? Why is it like this?

Two bodybuilding ogres wearing tiger skin speedos, hula-hooping beneath a disco ball in a black void while extremely raucous (but suspiciously sinister) upbeat music loops repeatedly. 

I distinctly remember getting to this screen as a kid and being so unsure of what I was looking at that I was legitimately scared. Who would have thought this game's weirdness would delve into horror territory? (Little did my young self know that there was a far more terrifying sequence later in the game, involving being shrunken down and hiding from a gigantic creature that looked distressingly like Ziggy... but I digress.)

Although I shouldn't be surprised, Mystical Ninja's sequel, Goemon's Great Adventure, has a Game Over screen featuring the same surreal theming, and the music has been taken to the next level:

The description of the video says "this is how all Game Overs should be." For an inexplicable reason, I'm finding myself in agreement.

Uncomfortably weird though they may be, the Game Over screens from Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon and Goemon's Great Adventure are unquestionably glorious... in their own, unique way. 

What say you? Are these the weirdest things you've ever seen? Do you know of any other Game Overs that should be quantified as "Glorious?" Let me know below! 

Way back during my tender high school years, the release of the Wii was causing a revolution (Eh? Eh?? See what I did there?!) and I was knee-deep in the hype. However, when compared to my good friend, Tim, my knee-deep hype-submersion was shallow at best. In fact, it might be best to compare him to a deep sea diver.

As a man who lived and breathed Nintendo as if it were his single form of nourishment, Tim had been acquiring the more obscure games he could find for the shiny new system, and Endless Ocean was one of them. 

Oh how he begged me to get it! "Dude, we can swim together! It'll be awesome!"  Whether in class or at lunch, I'd hear a variation of that sentence almost daily, as he was always trying to lure me into this apparently mesmerizing experience... but, as an ignorant fool, I declined. 

It's only now, over a decade later, that I finally heeded his advice and took the plunge... and good Lord Jesus, he was right. What a fool I was!

But it was only after Endless Ocean's title screen glowed to life that I was truly made aware of the severity of my foolishness.

​I can't think of another title screen that so fully enraptured and immersed me into a virtual world. To say I was emotionally overwhelmed is an understatement. 

When I finally recovered from this religious experience, I exasperatedly contacted Tim and, with tears in my eyes, demanded to know one, single thing: "WHY DIDN'T YOU WARN ME ABOUT THIS TITLE SCREEN?!?!?"

So what's the big deal? Let's dive into it so you can see for yourself! 

What immediately stands out in the brief moment before anything really happens, is the feeling of pure serenity. The image of the boat gently floating on the gorgeous blue ocean under the starry, crystal clear sky generates a powerful atmosphere... and then the song hits. 

Fading in at the exact moment the words "Endless Ocean" appear on screen, you're immediately hit with chills and, at least in my case, tears. Everything just clicks.

The ethereal, angelic theme coupled with the beautiful visuals is an overwhelming combination, and it you only find yourself being further entranced as the screen transitions to the world beneath the surface of the ocean, showing us the lovely sea-based friends we'll soon be swimming and exploring with. 

And again, there's that song. 

Hayley Westenra's "Prayer" is a remarkable piece of music, and as it continues to evolve, it evokes increasingly strong emotions thanks to its impressive composition and performance. Still, it's the beauty of how it dances with the masterfully executed visuals that is key: together, they create a genuine sense of wonder and tranquility.

The reason I finally bought Endless Ocean after all this time was the hope that I could have a game that would act as a way to calm me down after a crazy day, and it does exactly that.

From the moment the title screen started, I knew I had made a wise choice. 

Even after my worst, most hectic days, I know that Endless Ocean will transport me to a place of peace, and even if you never end up playing the game yourself, I hope that its title screen brings you some of the same tranquility it brings me. 

 Say what you will about the aged 3D graphics and gameplay, but Mortal Kombat 4 still has a decent amount of franchise charm to keep it afloat (particularly the Fatalities, almost all of which were better than the ones in the sequel, Deadly Alliance.)

While no one would describe the MK series as "light-hearted," there was always an element of over-the-top antics and a general sense of goofiness... except in MK4, at least for the most part.

The stages, in particular, gave off a weird sense of loneliness, despite the occasional bouts of sinister laughter from the unseen announcer. I found the whole thing to be kind of eerie, honestly. 

Spookiness aside, there was no denying the delight of the incredibly dark "Game Over" screen, which is easily one of the most thematically perfect implementations of the concept in existence. 

During the "Continue?" countdown, your character flails helplessly as they plummet down what appears to be a bottomless well. Once the counter reaches zero, the camera tilts slightly and then SLAM! The music goes silent as your character reaches the well's bottom with a thud, landing on a bed of bloody, razor-sharp, serrated spikes.

No doubt a reference to the infamous "The Pit" stages from the previous games (all of which end with the victim plummeting to their doom by means of spikes, saw blades or the hard stone floor of a deep canyon), this is easily the most "Mortal Kombat-y" way for the series to handle a continue countdown/Game Over.

To quote my cousin after he beat me in versus and then destroyed me with a Fatality: "delicious."

Empirically so. 

Until recently, my first (and basically only) exposure to the classic Ultima series was kind of odd.

I came across Ultima III (sans its amazing NES port-exclusive music) on a collection of "MacHome Game Discs" for our old Mac computer. Unfortunately, the game never seemed to work past the title screen.

However, despite the constant crashes and freezes, I still managed to find myself totally immersed in the game due to the promise of its enthralling title screen, which seemingly had its own narrative (and my overflowing imagination was quick to fill in the details.) 

Ultima III's title screen, which features an ill-fated dragon duel and eventual battle against overwhelmingly mighty demons captured my imagination like nothing else and made me fall deep into this mysterious and dangerous world that I could only speculate about, rather than actually play in.

Allow me to tell you the tales of legend that my childhood imagination crafted as we take a look at this phenomenal and unique title screen, and see if it contains as much magic for you as it did for me!

Here is the exact version of Ultima III from my youth (skip to :48, bypassing the drawn-out dragon  bout, for the main sequence!):

"Let me tell you a tale of a kingdom and a cave.

There was a castle and, to its south, was a lovely port town. Towards the West were tall and proud mountains. At the foot of this grand range was a mysterious enchanted forest (with legends describing an enigmatic, magical doorway to another realm). To the East of the kingdom and port town was a large lake and, on the opposite shore, a foreboding, volcanic mountain range with an ancient, perilous cave leading deep within.

One day, the demons long-rumored to live within the dark cave emerged, and a band of brave warriors from both the Kingdom and the port town joined together to stop this threat.

They sailed across the great lake and, after a fierce battle, vanquished the demons. Their victory was short-lived, however, as a deadly Red Dragon, the master of the demons, soared forth from the mouth of the cave.

Attacking from well beyond the range of the heroes, they retreated into their ship. Before they could make their getaway, however, the ship found itself engaged with the encroaching dragon. Bursts of flame soared across the sea, searing the ship, as it retaliated with volley after volley of cannon fire.

Skillful seamanship by the crew allowed the ship to miraculously dodge a would-be fatal attack by the Red Dragon and, with luck on their side, the ship fired one final time, killing the destructive beast.

The party returned home, but before they could celebrate, a ship filled with foreign invaders landed near the castle and unleashed an army of marauders. A brave knight and wizard stood strong against this invading force and, with the help of a powerful spell, the enemies were forced to retreat.

With the defeat of the devils, dragon and invaders, it was believed that peace would finally reign in the kingdom. Alas, it turned out that the cursed, evil cave had another secret, deep within its wretched halls: a horde of skeletons.

The warriors set forth once more, and with the power of the Priest, the skeletons were repelled, retreating back into the depths of the caverns. Even as a sea serpent would not be able to stop our heroes now, as they finally returned home. 

Time passed, and that hated, legendary cave of evil hid one final force of malice, a skeletal monstrosity that seemed to hail from Hell itself.

The warriors of legend did not engage this foe, but rather a knight who, using that legendary, mystical portal within the forest, teleported to the opposite shore, and slew the creature.

It was clear that something foul still awaited within that cave and, after much discussion, the kingdom finally made a decision about what needed to be done.

They sent their finest, holiest warrior through the magical gate and into the treacherous cave. Soon, the source of evil, a powerful devil, emerged, followed closely by the sacred warrior. 

In a final duel to the death, the almighty warrior swung his sword and... died? Holy crap.

The malicious and cruel devil returned to his cave and, after some time, the cycle of began again..."

This title screen set my imagination ablaze. It seemed like anything was possible in this world (particularly as I had no idea what the gameplay was actually like). Its straightforward, simple, no-frills approach to graphics, (perceived) gameplay and storytelling, coupled with its at-once somber and adventurous tone helps it remain a source of inspiration to me, even to this day. 

When seeking out this title screen I stumbled across the one for Ultima IV, which features its own little narrative (and some genuinely great music). Despite the lack of nostalgia, it still got my creative juices flowing, so if you liked what you saw with Ultima III, be sure to check out IV below!

If you do end up watching it, I'd be absolutely thrilled to hear what your interpretation of its story is, so be sure to let me know in the comments!

So far, my most desired DLC characters have been the extremely popular (and greatly desired) Doom Guy, and the decidedly less popular (but still fondly remembered) Gilius Thunderhead.

And today? We've got Mike Jones of StarTropics. 

When it comes to my DLC picks, I wanted to stick with choices that were at least feasible, and Mike Jones comes somewhat close to stretching the definition. If you have no idea who this is, you're certainly not alone.

I'd actually go as far as to say that Mike is probably the least likely and least popular of my DLC choices (except for maybe one other upcoming entry), but he is a first-party Nintendo character, he does have a legacy (thanks almost entirely to the infamous fourth-wall breaking solution to an in-game puzzle, which required players to soak a letter the game came with in water to reveal a hidden code) and, after the seemingly impossible inclusion of Banjo and Kazooie, you never know.

Yes, it'd take a "Miracola" for this to happen but, as they say in StarTropics, "under the Southern Cross, anything is possible!"

​Who He Is And Why We Need Him:

Mike Jones is the protagonist of StarTropics and StarTropics II, seemingly forgotten first-party Nintendo titles from the days of the NES. Both games are extremely charming, quirky, fun, inventive and delightful adventures that deserve to be remembered, and Mike would be the best way to bring them back into the public eye.

As a first-party character, Mike's lineage is as legitimate as Mario or Link's, and his variety of unique abilities would make him a joy to play as in Super Smash Bros., a series that celebrates genuine characters, new and old, popular and forgotten. 

It's also a series that contains outrageous and absurd antics, and StarTropics has so much of that brand of craziness that it's actually kind of surprising it hasn't been included yet. 

Stats/General Traits:

Mike is a kid, and therefore more of a lightweight character. His attacks lack raw power, and his jumps are somewhat rigid, but the versatility of his moves, and the tools at his disposal, gives him an edge in combat for strategic players. 

Alas, Mike is limited in the air, with a rather awkward jump and only a few kicks at his disposal for aerial attacks (though they are quite powerful.)

Unique Traits and Special Details:

Mike plays somewhat different than most of his peers, as his basic attacks can be aimed in any direction (as a reference to his movement in the StarTropics series). Likewise, StarTropics II's damaging "Psychic Shockwave" projectile has a chance of shooting out from any of his attacks. The likelihood of this surprisingly powerful move diminishes with the more damage Mike takes. 

Aesthetically, there are a few details and references to his series: when jumping, the "Anklet" item appears on Mike's feet, and during his second jump, his clothes turn gold, just like in StarTropics the first.

Similarly, when Mike performs his aerial kick, you can see the "Spikes" item on his shoes, and when he blocks, he uses the "Miracle Mirror" (although it doesn't afford any extra bonuses, and is merely a visual treat.)

Finally, Mike's victory poses all reference bizarre moments from the series, with one in particular being a rendition of the  "Cactus Dance" (including the music!)

Move List:

Basic Attacks:

Most of Mike's basic attacks use his yo-yo... er... "Star," and can be aimed in any direction. He's fairly helpless in the air, though, aside from a strong "Spikes"-powered flying heel kick. 

Special - "Wonder Horsehide"

Mike's "ace pitcher" skills will be on display with this baseball-tossing Special: throwing the "Wonder Horsehide," Mike is able to guide the baseball while in flight, bolstering its natural homing capabilities.

Up Special - Da Vinci's Flying Machine

Sometimes a box of pizza can go a long way: Mike's Up Special summons Leonardo Da Vinci's flying machine, and allows for unprecedented horizontal survivability. Unfortunately, with great power comes great risk, as the fragile Flying Machine is easily destroyed by projectiles and other attacks, causing Mike to quickly plummet to his doom. 

Side Special -  Pause Sign

By pulling out his iconic "Pause" sign at the last second, Mike can stun incoming, attackers. Though the window for success is small, it's arguably more powerful than a standard "Counter" such as Marth's.

 Down Special - Inventory 

Like how Dragon Quest's Hero has a list of available spells, Mike can access a sub-menu of useful tools to unleash upon his foe.

These include the Bola, Asterisk, Snowman Doll, Rod of Sight, Try-Your-Luck Sign and Vitamin X. 

Bola / Twister - Tossing out a Bola (otherwise known as "Twister") will send the item zipping across the floor of the stage. If it makes contact with an opponent, they'll immediately be immobilized... but only for a short time. 

Asterisk - The "Asterisk" (or shuriken) is a tricky weapon that can take opponents by surprise. When launched, two Asterisk will fly forward from your hands in a tight formation, but by pressing the button again, they'll split into two, with one going up and the other going down. 

Naturally, if you choose not to split the Asterisk up, it does double the damage upon impact. 

Snowman Doll - By tossing a Snowman Doll into the air, you'll create a sizable, icy explosion that has a high chance of freezing any opponents caught in its radius, along with dealing damage. 

Rod of Sight - Normally reserved for revealing hidden ghosts, the Rod of Sight will damage anyone close enough to its blinding, holy light, along with paralyzing or disorienting them by means of dizziness or reversing their direction. 

Test-Your-Luck Sign - Has a chance of chance of restoring between 30% and 90% damage, or dealing it back! 

Vitamin X - Temporarily heals damage, but you can still be KO'd and the effect wears off quickly. Strategically, it can be used to give yourself some temporary extra durability to soak up some extra hits as you attempt to deliver a killing blow.

As you might expect, there is a limited amount of each item and, upon exhausting your supply, you'll need to deal some serious damage before you can begin to restore your numbers. 

Final Smash: Zoda's Revenge

Mike stuffs bananas into his ears as Zoda appears, who wreaks havoc against everyone who doesn't have bananas in their ears. 

The Final Smash would look exactly like the image below, but Zoda wouldn't be a static image; instead, he'd be a full-fledged, HD model, and perhaps even vocally deliver his evil proclamation that he is the "PRIME INVADER... ZODA!" before his unleashes his destruction! 

Taunts:

1. Mike tosses a mystical Tetrad into the air, catches it and then pockets it once more.

2. Mica the Argonian appears in a bubble as she telepathically contacts Mike.

3. Mike dips his Uncle's letter into a glass of water, referencing the infamous, real-life action needed to solve one of the original game's puzzles. 

While I think the above are the best options, if I had to pick any alternates, it'd be nice to see an appearance by Peter the Parrot, a pizza box or even the little helper bot, NAV-COM (though perhaps they'd appear in Mike's victory poses!)

Of course, another alternative would be Mike stuffing bananas in his ears... but it's probably best to reserve that for the Final Smash. 

Stage Entrance:

Mike pops out of the Sub-C, ready for adventure. Another option would be for him to plop out of a magic book-induced wormhole, a'la StarTropics II. 
​
​Stage(s):

As the name suggests, StarTropics mostly takes place on a tropical island known as "C-Island." StarTropics II, on the other hand, is a time-traveling, country-hopping adventure that takes players everywhere from the Wild West to King Arthur's court. 

Unfortunately for the excellent StarTropics II, the more unique and less complicated locales of the first game make for a better choice to represent the series, so Mike's levels would hail exclusively from the original StarTropics.

1) Sailing on the Sub-C:

The match starts on the back of the Sub-C, which soars across the oceans surrounding C-Island (which you can see in the background, along with all of its memorable landmarks.)

As the match rages on, the Sub-C will prepare to dive. The main fighting platform will open and swallow up any players standing in the correct zone. Anyone who doesn't make it will be lost to the sea. 

For those that make it inside, they'll find themselves in the control room of the Sub-C, with NAV-COM watching the action as he pilots the ship. Uniquely, players can't be KO'd while in the confines of the Sub-C, meaning that serious damage can be dealt to all parties. 

The Sub-C will emerge after a few moments, now within C-Island's boundaries, and the fighting continues. Eventually, a storm starts to rage and you'll be brought back into the Sub-C as it dives once more before the level loops. 

2) C-Island:

Similar to "Sailing on the Sub-C," the "C-Island" stage features a floating platform that will take players on a trip by (and through) some of C-Islands most iconic locations, including Miracola, the giant whale, a treacherous dungeon, and Captain Bell's ship. The final destination on this tour is Zoda's Alien Spaceship, a place where the hostile extraterrestrials will have no qualms about shooting at you and the other fighters. 

Music:

There's a reason I wrote full soundtrack reviews for both StarTropics and Zoda's Revenge: they're both filled to the brim with genuinely excellent music. As you can imagine, picking only a handful of such high-quality tracks hurt my body and soul, but I think the following are a good, worthy bunch:

1) A remix of the beautiful Sailing theme, and hopefully one that amps up the emotion and swashbuckling!

2) An exciting remix of the jovial and tropical Overworld Theme, with a sequence that references how the musical bug that occasionally caused the instruments to be out of sync. 

3) A "StarTropics II Dungeon Medley." Where the many awesome, varied locations of StarTropics II hurt its chances of getting a level in Ultimate, its equally awesome and varied score doesn't have the same problem, as we can have an epic medley of every StarTropics II dungeon theme! (Here's an example of one of these great themes!)

Reveal Trailer:

Toon Link is sailing across the vast seas when he suddenly spots an island he's never seen before.

Investigating further, he anchors his boat and begins exploring the island. Before long, he stumbles upon a crashed alien ship and finds himself under heavy attack by its inhabitants. 

As he runs back to his vessel, a ship rises from the sea... it's the Sub-C!

"It looks like you could use a miracola!" shouts a smug, unseen voice.

Finally, the Sub-C's hatch opens and out pops Mike, who energetically joins Link in battle against Zoda and his villainous forces!

"Mike Jones proves anything is possible under the Southern Cross!"

​(I would probably shit my pants if this happened.)

After the disappointing reveal of Byleth (and don't pretend that it wasn't), it's time to get things back on track with the second entry in my most desired Super Smash Bros. DLC character saga. 

Last time, we discussed the ripping and tearing of Doom Guy (who I still think has a great chance of appearing, likely accompanying the eventual Switch release of Doom Eternal), but today we're focusing on the hacking and slashing of Golden Axe's Gilius Thunderhead!

​Who He Is And Why We Need Him:

The most iconic character from SEGA's Golden Axe series, Gilius Thunderhead is a vengeful, axe-wielding dwarf who helped to save the realm of Yuria from the malevolent forces of Death Adder and Dark Guld.

Attesting to his aforementioned status as an icon, Gilius has already appeared in a multitude of other crossover games, so it seems that Super Smash Bros., the ultimate crossover, would be the next logical step for the horned-helmet-wearing warrior.

Stats/General Traits:

Essentially, Gilius would play identically to how he does in his home series, with the same walk-cycle, speed, sense of weight and surprisingly vertical jump. Translated into Ultimate terms, he'd be a heavier character (though not the heaviest) and somewhat slow. However, his attacks are quick and quite powerful, so don't underestimate him! Likewise, Gilius' high jump height and rapid ascent are fairly unexpected in their own right. 

Unique Traits:

In the original Golden Axe, one of the most satisfying elements of the hack-and-slash combat was that you could stagger an enemy, smash their heads with the hilt of your weapon, and then hoist them over your head and toss them. In Gilius' ​Smash Bros. appearance, he's able to do the same, possessing the unique trait of having some of his combo attacks automatically transitioning into a grab. And make no mistake: tossing your enemy doesn't just hurt them, but it can potentially damage anyone who gets hit by this newly weaponized foe. 

Likewise, Gilius' dodge roll possesses the unusual trait of actually being able to damage opponents, though it's quite rare. In the original Golden Axe, Gilius' "pinch move" was a roll that was intended to get players out of sticky situations where they were surrounded by enemies; at the end of the roll, Gilius would hoist up his axe, potentially knocking back the offending foes. This would be reflected in Ultimate, but to actually cause (the admittedly minimal) harm to an opponent requires precision and timing, so good luck with that. 

Gilius' alternate colors/costumes pay homage to his hibernating series, including color schemes that reflect the other playable characters of Golden Axe I & II, Ax Battler and Tyris Flare. Additionally,   there's a color scheme for the villainous Death Adder, and one that turns Gilius' axe into a golden variant, just like in the arcade. 

Move List:

Gilius's move set is extremely faithful to his abilities in the Golden Axe series, right down to the awkward jumps.

Basic Attacks: 

Gilius predominantly uses his battle ax, and the variety of moves he's demonstrated throughout his numerous in-game appearances, including his powerful ramming headbutt, the deadly downward strike, and even that weird axe-spin, backstab maneuver in Golden Axe II.

At the ends of certain combo attacks, he might even give foes a taste of his Lightning Magic by sending a jolt their way.

Infamously, Gilius' basic combos can autonomously transition into a grab, entrapping an opponent and bopping them on the head multiple times with the hilt of his axe before tossing them as a projectile. 

Special: Magic Pots

Gilius' Side and Down Specials require Magic Pots to activate, and this resource is built by pressing the Special button. 

When pushed, one of Golden Axe's infamous thieves appears next to Gilius, who then proceeds to loot the little nuisance's bag of treasure.

Gilius can store up to a total of four Magic Pots. 

Side Special: Lightning Magic

Gilius can unleash a variety of four lightning-based magical attacks, the ferocity and types of which are determined by the amount of Magic Pots Gilius currently possesses.

The weakest variant sends lightning skirting across the floor, while the most powerful version has the potential to ensnare multiple players in bolts raining down from the skys, just like in the original Golden Axe.

Up Special: Goah

Goah, Gilius' giant partner from The Revenge of Death Adder, briefly poofs into existence beneath the stoic warrior, quickly propelling him into the air. Upon reaching the apex of his ascent, Gilius rapidly twirls his walking stick from Golden Axe III, using it as a makeshift helicopter that allows him slowly descend.

This is the only one of Gilius' Special Move that does not require a Magic Pot.

Down Special: Rock Magic

Activating your Down Special allows Gilius to cast his four versions of his powerful Rock Magic. Modified slightly from its effects in Golden Axe II, most varieties of Smash's Rock Magic result in defensive moves with minimal range that serve more to blast opponents away from you than to be used as projectiles.

A single Magic Pot yields a few measly pebbles acting something an anti-projectile shield, but a full-powered attack results in boulders tearing through the air at breakneck speed. 

Special Moves (Alternate):

Alternatively, Gilius could also have a fundamentally different approach to his Special Move system, leaving room for alternate Side and Down Specials. 

In this situation, the standard Special would function similarly to Samus' Charge Beam. In this case, holding down the button would gather Magic Pots and tapping it would unleash the attacks. Likewise, the different levels of Magic Pots would yield a variety of attacks using both lightning and rock attacks. 

Side Special (Alternate): Thief

Gilius tosses one of Golden Axe's infamous thieves at his opponents, who latch onto them, relieve them of any items they're currently holding, and deal damage until they're tossed off (or run away on their own). Like other Side Specials, the properties of this attack can be altered depending on the intensity of the input. In other words, the thieves can be launched at close range or at distance with varying speeds. 

Although they can be attacked and KO'd before reaching their intended (or not) target, they're much harder to hit than they appear, and will erratically zip about the arena, doing their best to dodge any interception attempts.  

Down Special: Bizarrian Summon

Gilius calls forth either a Chicken-Leg or Dragon variant, which he can ride until they're KO'd. The Chicken-Leg has a powerful tail whip, while the Dragon can shoot a stream of fire or a fireball. While powerful, they're both easily KO'd (or stolen by other players.)

Final Smash: Level-9 Magic

Gilius Thunderhead raises his arms like he would during a magical attack, but the screen turns black: the giant, character-select skeleton appears and holds Gilius in its palms, along with his friends Ax Battler and Tyris Flare.

Together, the three unleash their ultimate magical spells:

Gilius sends his opponents to Ax Battler with a bolt of lightning, who summons his earthshaking eruption from the ground, sending them skyward. After they land, Tyris Flare's dragon appears and delivers its apocalyptic fire breath, scorching the poor souls who dared stand against Yuria's greatest heroes. 

 Final Smash (Alternate): Thunderhead's Revenge 

Although the "Level-9 Magic" Final Smash would probably be the best (and most representative) choice for the character and his franchise, Gilius' ultimate magic attack in The Revenge of Death Adder also fits the mold of a great Final Smash.

When activated, Goah appears once again, and Gilius jumps onto his back. Together, they raise their arms to unleash their extremely powerful and destructive magic.

The screen darkens, and a thick fog enshrouds the level. Descending from the blackened sky is a giant, malevolent skull that unleashes a cursed blast of fog from its mouth. Players caught in this poison cloud are subjected to constant damage and those that get the worst of the attack are briefly turned to stone, ceasing their movements and temporarily opening them up to a pummeling without consequence.

​Taunts:

1. Gilius strikes his pose from the cover of the original Golden Axe.

2. Gilius cries out "For Alex!" (and a text bubble may even appear as he says it!)

3. Much like the Slime taunt for Dragon Quest's Hero, a Thief appears behind Gilius, who quickly disappears and giggles as Gilius looks in his direction. 

Stage Entrance:

Gilius enters the battlefield on the back of a Chicken-Leg (and rightfully so.)

Stage(s):

As a series, Golden Axe is filled to the brim with iconic and memorable levels, so choosing just one to represent the series is an extremely difficult task. With that in mind, here are three options that would do the franchise justice:

1) Ride The Whirlwind: 

​Despite Golden Axe III's status as arguably the least popular entry in the classic series, and the fact that Gilius isn't even playable in it, it's hard to deny that the climactic "Ride the Whirlwind" level would make a truly epic Super Smash Bros. stage. 

Taking place on the back of a giant eagle soaring over the ocean at tremendous speeds towards Damud Hellbringer's fortress, players would do battle across the eagle's spread wings. 

Just like in the game, enemy grunts will occasionally be dropped into the arena, and you'll need to fend them off (along with the rest of your opponents!)

Some might argue that "the Fiend's Path" from Golden Axe I, which also takes place on the back of a giant eagle, might make a better choice due to its greater fame, but in terms of both visuals and gameplay, "Ride the Whirlwind" has it beat.

2) Turtle Village:

Probably the most iconic level in the series, Turtle Village seems like a normal town... until you realize that this village is literally on a giant turtle. 

The main arena would have the players battling in the ravaged streets of the village, but going to either end of this large, rounded stage would reveal the titular turtle, who is busy swimming across the seas to destinations unknown. 

This could be a fairly straightforward level, but it'd sure be pretty to look at.

3) Yuria:

Acting as a cross between Golden Axe plus the Smash stages "Castle Siege" and the infamous "PokéFloats," "Yuria" would give us the best of what the world of Golden Axe has to offer by showcasing its most beloved sights in a fast-paced, ever-changing level.

Starting in the "Wilderness" of Golden Axe I, players make their way to Turtle Village, which, after a brief warning, breaks away from the docks of the Wilderness and departs for the seas, stranding any stragglers.

After awhile, this seafaring voyage comes to an end, and players will need to quickly hop off the Turtle (or be abandoned) as we're treated to another brief auto-scrolling sequence which leads everyone to "the Fiend's Path," the aforementioned other giant eagle. The eagle takes off, leaving slow players behind, and the battle continues in the air. Finally, the eagle lands at Death Adder's castle where the players battle in the Throne Room as Death Adder himself watches on menacingly, cradling the sacred Golden Axe. 

After a few minutes, Death Adder slams the mythic Golden Axe into the ground, and its magic sends players right back to the "Wilderness" where they started. 

Music:

Golden Axe has some truly fantastic music (again, the PS2 remake does a great of showing that off, but fails to anything else of merit), so making a list of three was fairly difficult!

1. A remix of Golden Axe's bombastic opening level theme, "Wilderness." (Note: this is the PS2 ver.)
2. A remix of the treacherous "Fiend's Path." (Note: this is also the PS2 version.)
3. A remix of Golden Axe III's "A Voyage To Castle."

I really wanted to include a remix of the boss theme, "Battlefield," but "A Voyage to Castle" is just so catchy and rhythmic I couldn't say no. That said, if "Ride the Whirlwind" makes it in as a level, it seems absurd to not include that theme, too. Ugh, all of these should probably be included, honestly.

Reveal Trailer:

It's night in the middle of a dense forest. Wario, DeDeDe and K.Rool are sitting around a fire, dozing off to sleep, with their arms cradling their precious hoards: Wario and his money, DeDeDe and his food, and K.Rool with DK's bananas. 

After they finally fall asleep, we hear a giggling from the tree line. Once they're sure it's safe, the little Golden Axe thieves appear and begin to steal villainous trio's loot! 

As they each wake up, they find themselves in a frenzy trying to protect their collections, but too no avail. Wario screams out into the night. 

Suddenly, the thieves all get knocked away effortlessly. The trio is shocked!

Confused, they all look off camera towards the cause of this ruckus, and their eyes widen. 

The camera pans and... there stands Gilius Thunderhead as thunder rumbles in the distance!

Without warning a hoard of Death Adder's troops charge the camp. Gilius instinctively swings around to face them as Wario, DeDeDe and K.Rool huddle closely behind him. Gilius strikes his fierce fighting stance, the camera smash cuts to an extreme close-up of his eyes, and we see a spark of electricity. 

"Gilius Thunderhead strikes gold!"

(... okay, that was honestly really awful but, alas, the pun center of my brain is currently failing me.)

"Game Over" screens deliver a simple message: the fun is over. However, just because the message itself is simple, it doesn't mean that the messenger has to be, and that's what I'm hoping to honor with this new (semi) regular (maybe) series, "Glorious Game Overs!" 

Whether visually, narratively, emotionally or more, some "Game Over" screens have gone above and beyond when it comes to making their simple message not-so-simple, taking things to a level that one might even be able to consider a unique art (not unlike the "lost art" of Title Screens)

Obviously, not every "Game Over" needs to go beyond its intended purpose, so this series isn't suggesting that everything that isn't featured is terrible. Instead, I'm just going to highlighting the ones that, for whatever reason, stuck with me throughout the years, along with others that are totally awesome in their own right. 

For this series' inaugural entry, I decided to go with a "Game Over" screen that has haunted me ever since I first laid eyes on it: Donkey Kong Country.

Moments after turning on the game, I was totally enthralled by the graphics, the antics of the intro and, my God, the theme music, which gave me chills all over my body. I actually ended up watching the intro repeatedly because I couldn't figure out how to work the controller... but I'm not complaining.

Finally, upon truly getting started, I was fully immersed in the jaw-dropping, gorgeously rendered jungle environment, its rich atmosphere, and infectious music. I was having an absolute blast, and will never forget discovering the secret tunnel bonus room, or how the sun would set at the end of the stage. 

The fun wouldn't last though: I was a kid, and DKC was hard.

Deaths came often, and so did the "Game Over" screen.

​Frankly speaking, Donkey Kong Country's Game Over screen scared the shit out of me. I knew it was an inevitability that I would see it sooner rather than later, but even that humble acknowledgement of my fate did nothing to dull the terror of its terrifying appearance.

Gone were the the colorful visuals of the jungle. Gone were the cartoonish antics of jumping on a malevolent beaver. In their places were beaten, battered, broken and bruised Kongs. They had clearly suffered, and they had suffered because of me and my failures. 

Bathed in stark light amongst a sea of darkness, the pain and disappointment in Diddy's eye seemed so real, and it struck a chord in my soul that resonates to this very day. 

This emotional burden was only amplified by David Wise's chilling score. It's one of the most defeated and depressing pieces I've ever heard, and even its scattered instruments seem like they're too exhausted to even continue. 

What solidified this nightmare, though, was that no matter what I tried, I couldn't seem to skip this screen or proceed past it. It was like I was locked in hell as punishment for my foibles. The only escape was resetting the system... but this screen has never stopped haunting me.