By Joseph Walter
After being sold on the promise of having access to all of Disney's treasured creations along with new ones, I'm still surprised at what's missing (or being held back), and by what could be there but isn't. Therefore, I've decided to help Disney out by posting this entirely reasonable list of fixes, additions and out-of-the-box inclusions that range from normal to obsessively weird.
However, before we begin, I just want to be clear about Disney+'s most heinously glaring flaw: the awful, bastardized aspect ratios with shows like The Simpsons. It's intolerable. I chose not to include it on this list because it's so obvious and widely hated that it's not even worth pointing out.
Disney, even if you ignore the entirety of this list, for the love of God, fix the aspect ratios.
1. The In-Ride Films From Attractions That No Longer Exist
One very easy solution to this problem is to play the in-ride films from long dead attractions.
I know I'm not alone when I say I'd love to watch the oft-skipped "The Spirt of Norway" from the deceased "Maelstrom" (damn you, Frozen). And although I'm not sure how it'd be possible, I wouldn't mind seeing "Reflections of China" after it gets replaced. Alas, the whole "Circle-Vision" thing would probably prevent it from making it the service ... unless... they somehow implemented it into VR........ my God.
2. Every Episode of Every Iteration of "Walt Disney's Wonderful World of Color"
I only have one question: why?
Considering that Disney and its fans love to indulge in nostalgia, there'd be no better way to capitalize on that than to conjure up the man himself, Walt Disney, where, in his prime, he hosted a slew of classic television shows. Whether it's him hyping up the creation of his then-upcoming inaugural theme park in "Walt Disney's Disneyland," or delighting us with teases for upcoming projects in "Wonderful World of Color," there's much joy to be had, and the fact that these series haven't yet been uploaded in their entirety is both perplexing and disheartening.
3. The Rest of the "Mickey Mouse Club"
Yes, it's still delightful, charming, cute and fun, but the so-called "first season" only consists of a mere handful of episodes, and we know there's plenty more left in the "Disney Vault."
Why hoard them, Disney? Unleash the beast so we can continue to watch Cubby and Annette steal the show for many episodes to come.
4. ... and the rest of Basically Everything
Why the critically important opening episode of the astonishingly excellent Tron: Uprising isn't currently available is tremendously bizarre (but it shouldn't stop you from watching the series, because it's awesome) and I can only hope it's rectified shortly. (And, while we're at it, how about continued Tron: Uprising as a Disney+ exclusive? God knows you need exclusives, after all, and it's hard to go wrong with a series as great as this one.)
Likewise, I find it strange that some truly classic Disney Channel series have yet to make an appearance... specifically the beloved (and trippy!) Adventures in Wonderland. This show was one of my favorites as a kid, and it's still great today. It was also extremely popular during its run, so I can't even begin to fathom the reasons it's not currently on the service.
Here's the thing: if the WWE can essentially upload their entire catalogue of content onto their streaming service, the WWE Network, Disney most certainly can, too. They're just choosing not to, and that's annoying.
5. The 2003 Clone Wars Microseries
While I'm currently trudging my way through the show by means of a wonderfully curated episode guide from occasional contributor Joe Prescott (who's pretty good at making cases for why certain shows demand your attention), I think I'll still end up preferring the 2003 "micro-series" of the Clone Wars, from Dexter's Laboratory and Samurai Jack mastermind, Genndy Tartakovsky.
Consisting of slick designs, outstanding animation and phenomenal spectacle, the 2003 Clone Wars is masterpiece of cinematic storytelling, where it lets its visuals do most of the talking while you sit there, slack-jawed in amazement.
If Disney does indeed own the Star Wars franchise, and this series isn't wrapped up in some weird rights-holder battles, I see no reason why they shouldn't add it to the Disney+ library.
Even if they absurdly and nonsensically believed they'd be "competing with themselves," the latest (and final) Clone Wars season just ended, so now there are no excuses.
We want to see Durge in all his glory, jousting Obi-Wan Kenobi on a speeder bike. And we want to see Mace Windu dismantle a droid with the Force and use the screws to shred dozens more. And a General Grievous that is far from a joke. And a legion of Clone Troopers abandoning their exploding battleship by jumping into the void of space, landing on a Separatist frigate, doing battle on its hull, and then stealing it.
I could go on, but I'll stop myself now.
6. Atmospheric Disney Park Videos, akin to "The Yule Log."
But seriously, YouTube has a slew of videos up like "10 hours of the Haunted Mansion's thunderstorm," and while that's fine, it'd be awesome for Disney to release official videos of stuff like the Tiki Room's waiting area or temple pools with crisp sound quality.
I love the Yule Log and how it transports you to another place in time, so it might sound weird to suggest this Disney Park version of the concept, but hey, the Disney freaks will eat it up (again, myself included.)
Trust me, they (I) would go nuts if there was a 10 hour long shot of the homestead and river from Living with the Land, or the pyramid and volcano from Gran Fiesta Tour.
7. Those Weird "WDW TV" Shows, Like "Must Do Disney"
Look, I don't care how outdated some of her lists are, I want every last one of them on Disney+ and I want to watch them now.
Likewise, I wouldn't mind a livestream of their "Walt Disney World Today" channel, which plays exceedingly charming renditions of classic Disney themes while sharing weather forecasts and news.
I can't make this more clear: Disney fans are freaks, and we want this.
8. The "Special Events Channel"
These calming, hypnotic channels, with their spinning logo, tranquil seas and shooting stars are such a nostalgia trigger that they're needed.
And you know what? Here's the thing: almost everything on this list is already available on the internet, including the "Special Events Channel," so it's up to Disney whether or not they want people enjoying these things through YouTube, or if they want to put them up on their own service and bring in the very audience that's watching and uploading these things on YouTube.
But what do I know? I'm just a guy who loves rotating logos, stagnant "must do" lists and the "Spirit of Norway."